I had forgot all about it. I mean, its been over 2 years since I had thought about it.
Back in the good old days, circa 2010 that is, the glucose tolerance test was a one hour test. You were required to fast for 3 hours prior and was told you’d go to the lab, drink something, wait an hour (grab your iPad) and get your blood drawn. For those of you who are newly pregnant and haven’t yet encountered this nasty test, the glucose tolerance test is a blood test to measure your body’s response to sugar. It is used to screen for gestational diabetes. (Its important to note that I don’t harbor bad thoughts just for this test. I despise all tests, really anything, that involves needles. But I digress…)
What isn’t widely discussed is the disgusting drink you have to take before the test. My lab paperwork said, and I quote, “it tastes like flat orange soda”. Umm….no, not quite. If you ever had orange-flavored Fanta when you were a kid, its kinda like that, on steroids. Basically its like drinking imitation orange-flavored sugar water. And trust me when I say, its gross. No, nasty. It is so concentrated in sugar that it almost burns your mouth as you swallow it. Really. Oh and it gets even better. As if swallowing this delectable drink wasn’t hard enough. You have to chug the thing within 5 minutes.
Did the people that dreamed up this test forget that many pregnant women have nausea? So yeah, it must be a good idea to force them to pound down a nasty orange sugar drink.
I remember feeling trepidation going into the test for my first pregnancy. Mostly because of the needles. But also because if I didn’t “pass”, whatever that meant, I would have to take it again, only longer! But having passed the test in 2010, I thought this time would be a cinch. Of course, that was before they told me I had to fast starting at midnight the night before. Wait, WHAT? What happened to 3 hours? Do they not realize I am pregnant and I have a tiny human inside me sucking away all of my nutrients? I am STARVING. How am I to go 8 hours without eating or drinking?
This is where the pep talk comes. Ok Kaitlyn. Buck up. You can do this. Sure you’re starving. And you have a mean little human incessantly kicking you from the inside demanding to be fed. But its only 8 hours. And most of them you’ll be sleeping. Sure, your toddler will devour every morsel of his breakfast in front of you in the morning. And you’ll salivate as you watch him torment you so. Licking his fingers and all. But you can do this.
Oh wait. Did I forget to mention that now the first glucose tolerance test is 2 hours? So my 8 hour fast just jumped to 10. Oh, and by the way, instead of drawing blood once, you have to do it three times!
Thankfully, I survived the test this time around, and with only a few small needle bruises to show of it. But I do still have a bit of the burning in my throat. Or that could be heart burn. I’m not sure. And after the test I did what every reasonable pregnant women does after getting sugar shocked. I devoured candy and cupcakes to satisfy my hunger.
I mean hey, whats a little more sugar going to do at that point anyways?